IVY: Bismarck, North Dakota Home Birth Story
This is the story of Lisa + Ivy. Lisa reached out to me as she was preparing for her fourth baby, and her third home birth. I would describe Lisa as one of the best mothers I know…and I know a lot of kick-ass moms. Both she and Brayden are incredibly patient, gentle, and respectful of their children and I left their home so inspired in my own parenting.
This is how she describes herself: I’m a 3x home birth mama, passionate about breastfeeding, attachment parenting, informed, autonomous birth, a supporting women. I stay home with my four kiddos. Ivy was my last baby, weighing almost 9 pounds at birth!
I have to say, I was surprised when those two little lines showed up several days before my missed period. We had tried for months to get pregnant with our last baby, and I was expecting the same this time. I had Lasik eye surgery scheduled for the next morning, and just for peace of mind, I wanted to see a negative pregnancy test.
Life had other plans. Her pregnancy was filled with surprises and chaos. COVID emerged in the US, quarantine happened, and daily life is still changed. My husband was working more than ever because of different crews being quarantined. I was plagued with daily migraines until I began regular chiropractic care. I sprained an ankle at 8 months pregnant, and developed some terrible SPD after that. My husband is a shift worker, working 12 hr shifts with a 1.5 hour commute each way. He had about 8 days off total in the entire last two months of my pregnancy. As if being hugely pregnant during the hottest days of the year with three other kids in tow wasn’t hard enough.
Because this was baby number four, I started “baby watch” early. About 38 weeks. I didn’t expect to see my due date. What a mistake that was. My original due date was August 21st. The day came and went, uneventfully. I had consistent contractions here and there for weeks, but would always wake up with nothing. Making it through the entire summer hugely pregnant with three other kids in tow was.... hard.
Finally on August 28th, the day before my birthday, I woke up to bloody show. TODAY is the day, I thought. I alerted my birth team and family, and called my husband home from work knowing he had a 1.5 hour drive. Contractions were 3-5 minutes apart, and then would die out to a half hour at times, but I continued having bloody show, so I knew this was finally the real deal.
Everyone showed up at the house in mid afternoon, and then things really slowed down. I decided to take a nap. Of course, when I tried to rest, contractions picked back up. Still, they were spaced 5-10 minutes apart, but intense when they came.
I labored like this all night until 11 PM, I decided to get in the tub. Being in the warm water was so relaxing, and brought me so much relief during contractions. Sitting sideways in the tub, with my back pressed up against it felt best. I labored like this for hours. If I could go back and birth all my babies in the water, I would. It kept me so comfortable. Still, contractions stayed fairly spaced apart, but lasted over a minute and were intense. We were all laughing and joking in between them, which made the mood happy and light. I had the best, most patient company with me while I did the work to bring a baby here.
I joked about not wanting to share my birthday with my child. At the time, it wasn’t so much a joke, as I really wanted to have this baby and go to bed! But midnight arrived, and still I was working. It was now my birthday, though this felt nothing like any previous birthday. I was working so hard, and I just wanted to sleep. At about 2 AM, some contractions started feeling pushy, and I could tell baby was descending. I switched through different positions, trying to stay in the ones that felt like they were doing the best work at bringing baby down.
All the way through what I considered transition stage my contractions were fairly spaced, and never that overwhelming right-on-top-of-each-other familiar way I’m used to ending labor. Intense, but gently spaced. I could catch my breath in between and regroup myself each time. Eventually I made my way to hands-and-knees position.
This was it.
My water broke, I didn’t push long. FER definitely kicked in and she was born in a simple, non-rushed kind of way. And with the next contraction came the head, and a hand and arm all at once. I felt baby’s head, and all I could utter was, “Lots of hair.” There was hardly a break for me to breathe before my body quickly birthed the rest of the baby right into my husband’s hands. He handed me our crying baby, and right away we checked the sex- a girl! My intuition was spot on again. It was an amazing moment. I said, “I did it,” over and over. It felt so amazing to have her in my arms, and know that my final baby made it here safe and sound.
I showered off after birthing her HUGE placenta, and we made our way upstairs. We weighed her- 8 pounds, 14 ounces. Our second biggest baby. Healthy, strong, and beautiful. And to think it all happened on my birthday is surreal!
My mother was there, which was so special. I was her first child, and this was the first birth of mine that she attended. Being as it was my birthday, the fact that she’d given birth to me on that day 28 years earlier, only a couple hours difference, was something of a cosmic synchronization that I never expected. It was truly magical! Also, I did joke the entire labor about not wanting to share my birthday. But now I’m so excited about our day. It will always be our day.
I imagined another fast labor, and had hoped for a fast labor. But what I got instead was something I never imagined I would want. It was a long labor, but so gentle and left me feeling on top of the world. I have two girls, two boys, four precious children. I know now my family is complete and that is the greatest feeling
