The Complete Guide to Hiring the Perfect Dickinson/Bismarck Birth Doula for You
More and more families are learning about the benefits of doula support, such as lower rates of cesarean births, faster labors, and more positive birth experiences in general. And who wouldn’t want that?!
Doula Kathy Paul supports pregnant Mandan mother in the birth pool.
Doula Willow Huisman offers lactation support to breastfeeding mom in Bismarck.
When people ask me what a doula does, I tell them that it’s basically like having your birth class instructor in the labor and delivery room with you, gently mentioning the positions and coping strategies you learned during pregnancy, but have totally forgotten in the excitement of the moment, reminding you about all the options you have, helping you ask the right questions of your care team, encouraging you when you want to give up, and bringing a sense of peace and calm to what can be a nerve-wracking experience.
So then comes the next question: how do I find a doula? And how do I know which one to hire?
First of all, Google “birth doulas near me” or go visit the Bismarck Doula Community registry for a list of fantastic birth and postpartum doula scattered throughout central and western North Dakota. There’s also DoulaMatch.net, if you’re looking for a wider range. Or ask your care provider if there are any doulas that they recommend!
It can be helpful to schedule consults with more than one doula, so once you’ve found a few names, reach out to schedule a consult. Generally, most doulas like to sit down for a face-to-face cup of coffee, but a Facetime or simple phone call can suffice, too.
Doula Ali Hein and Midwife Chelsea Carr support Bismarck couple as they prepare to meet their baby at home.
Ok, so now you’ve got a couple of consults lined up, but now what?
Honestly, the most important thing is to check in with yourself about what kind of support you’ll need so you know what to look for.
But what are we going to talk about? How do I even know which questions to ask to decide if this is the right doula for me? Don’t worry, I gotchu: read through the questions below and then scroll to the bottom for a free printable checklist to take along to your consults!
What made you decide to become a doula?
It’s always helpful to know what brought someone to this work, what drives them and their passion for it.
What type of support do you offer?
Most doulas are very hands-on, while others have a more background approach, naturally giving space for your partner to be the main, hands-on support person. The important thing here is that there are no right answers, but what works with your preferences.
How do you work with partners?
Here’s the thing: doulas aren’t just for the birthing parent. Nope! A good doula holds space for your experience, but also for what your partner is going through. They make sure your partner is eating and drinking and taking mental breaks.
How would you support the type of birth I am planning to have?
No two births are the same, but a doula will offer different types of support depending on the type of birth you want to have. Supporting a scheduled c-section (and yes, doulas DO support c-section births!) looks very different than supporting a home birth with a midwife.
Are there any birth choices or plans that you aren’t able to support?
Doulas strive to always give unbiased, objective support, but sometimes there are ethical or scope of practice reasons that don’t allow them to support every single kind of birth. Some doulas won’t work with families choosing to circumcise their baby boys, others choose not to take clients birthing with a specific care provider, to protect their own mental health. Some doulas aren’t able to attend unassisted births to protect some licensure that they hold unrelated to doula services.
How often will we meet with you before the birth? Do you do any visits after the birth?
Nearly all doulas include several prenatal visits with you in their packages, where they will schedule time to sit down and get to know you and your needs more fully, write a birth plan, help process any pre-birth anxieties, etc. After your baby’s arrival, most doulas will do at least one home visit to check on you and baby, debrief your birth experience with you, and make sure your family transition to its newest member is going well.
Are you available for my due date?
This seems like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised how easy it is to get carried away in conversation and totally forget to verify that this doula will be in town and available for your due time.
How many due dates do you book per month?
Most full time doulas book no more than four births a month, and many choose to book even fewer, so it doesn’t take long for them to get booked up! The next question is often about how close together the doula will book clients—don’t be surprised if the answer is that they will take more than one due date for a single day. This might sound crazy, but in ten years of doing this, the closest births I’ve ever had were due WEEKS apart from each other. I once heard a veteran birth worker say, “Take four births a month and take them all due the same week, if you can!” Because if everyone is due the same week, the chances of them all having their babies at the same time is actually very low.
What happens if you’re not able to attend my birth?
But let’s just say something crazy happens and your doula is at another birth or called away for a family emergency? A good doula will always have a strong backup network with other experienced doulas to step in if necessary. This can be difficult if you live in a very rural area without a lot of other doulas, but your doula will try their very best to make sure you have the support you need.
When will you join us in labor? Will you stay with us continuously? How long will you stay afterwards?
Again, there’s no right answer, but it’s helpful to know ahead of time if your doula will need to take breaks or call in a backup doula for relief support if your labor is very long.
What does your on-call window look like?
What does is their childcare situation if they need to join you in the middle of the night? How much time can you expect them to need before they’re able to join you. Ideally, your doula would be able to join you the minute you go into labor, but that’s not realistic since it takes time to rearrange any appointments or plans for her day, get the kids to the sitter, etc.
Also, many doulas go on-call for you at 38 weeks of pregnancy, but what happens if you go into labor sooner? It’s always a good idea to ask ahead of time, especially if you have risk factors that may cause you to go into labor early.
How soon should I let you know whether we’ve decided to hire you? How do we book your services? How does payment work?
Every doula handles payment a little differently, but very few doulas will hold a spot for you on their calendar without a signed contract and a retainer payment made.
Are there any other services you offer?
You wouldn’t believe how many doulas offer a myriad of different services, but never mention them because we all have imposter syndrome. 😂 Everything from birth education classes to placenta encapsulation to belly binding to postpartum support to massage therapy and so much more.
Once you’ve interviewed several potential doulas, check in with yourself and your partner and decide which vibe felt right. Generally, there is no wrong answer, professional doulas are accustomed to working with a wide range of family styles, relationship dynamics, and birth preferences, but it’s important to choose someone with whom you can feel safe and comfortable.